Too Many Commercials

Marcy, Breanna and I are all driving to pick up some necessary house-hold items, and discussing our list. Marcy mentioned something about how she has not had any headaches when Breanna piped in with a word from our sponsers.

Marcy: I still can't believe I haven't had a single headache.
Breanna: Because when you get headaches you have to take this stuff.
Mike & Marcy: What stuff Breanna?
Breanna: The stuff for detension headaches because it takes it all away.

I'm starting to suspect that our daughter watches too much television.

Filed in: OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

We've Been Zonked

As I've posted here before, Marcy and I, especially me, have gotten addicted to entering sweepstakes. We have not had any luck as of yet, but could a phone call from a national shipping company change that?

On Friday, Marcy had an interesting message on our answering machine. It was a UPS driver who could not find our house, which is strange because they deliver to us all the time. He had a package for her from a company called TNS Intersearch. He left his phone number for us to call him so that he could deliver the mystery package, but the message somehow got deleted on accident. So, we went about calling UPS to try and find this driver. UPS was no help, they could not find a package destined for our house in their system. Needless to say we were getting antsy to know what was in that package. Both of us had entered a number of sweepstakes and we had heard that some sweeps will be delivered without notification. Our imaginations started running wild with what it could be. I had entered a lot of sweepstakes, even piddly ones, but Marcy had only entered big value sweeps. Could it be a trip somewhere exotic? Could it be notification of a new car, or $10,000? We could only sit and wait.

UPS does not deliver over the weekend, so we were forced to wait patiently for Monday to come around and hope that UPS would either find our house, or call back. As you could probably guess, the anticipation grew even more when another call from UPS came on Monday afternoon, without Marcy home of course, and our son Michael gave the driver the correct address. The driver then told Michael that he would deliver on Tuesday. Marcy was ready to drive to the shipping center to pick up the package. But, she decided not to, and another day we were forced to wait.

Today I awoke with the taste of winning in my mouth. The package was set for delivery this afternoon and I could feel a big winner coming. I had to go to work, leaving Marcy at home (minus a few errands to run) to await the UPS man. I would've been sitting at the door waiting if I had been home. Finally, the door bell rang. Yes, it was UPS. Yes, he had the package. I can only imagine the helter skelter manner in which the box was opened. I probably would have busted the box wide open like a child on Christmas morning. Marcy opened the box and found....

A 4-pack of toilet paper (insert cheesy "Let's Make a Deal" sound effect here). The only thing missing is Monty Hall and a rubber chicken. She put down the box, picked up the phone and called me at work to break the news. All that wondering and anticipating for toilet paper. Just to top it off, the company that sent said toilet paper wants her to use it and write a review. I am so put off by this that I feel like taking it and wiping my bottom with it....oh wait, that's what I'm supposed to do with it.

Filed in: UncommonlySenseless Sweepstakes

What's goin on around here

With so much to Bzz about lately, and so little time to do it, I really don't know where to start. I guess I'll start with Super Sunday.

First and foremost I will say that I thought it was an amazing game, one of the better Super Bowls I have ever seen. Too bad the antics of a couple of people (that means YOU Janet) involved with the halftime show overshadowed some excellent performances. Tom Brady and Jake Delhomme went at this duel like no others have in a very long time. I happened to be rooting for New England, so that made the enjoyment even greater.

About the halftime show, I would like to mention one thing. I think they should've showed more of the naked dancing guy who was running around the field just before the second half kickoff. From what I've read, it took one of the Panthers to tackle him for the security guards to catch up with him. Now my kids were not in the room for either event, but had they been, and had CBS aired the streaker and consequential tackling of said streaker, at least I could have said to my kids: "See what really happens for public indecency?" I could go on and on about this, but it's already been done, played and is now over.

Instead I'll move on. Did anyone else get a copy of Microsoft Office 2003 Professional Edition in the mail? I did, and I still haven't quite figured out why. That didn't stop me from installing it this morning, and start converting all of my e-mail, address books and calenders over to Outlook 2003 of course. From what I briefly have seen of it, I am impressed with how far Outlook has come as far as functionality and ease of use have come. Of course I haven't used Outlook on an every day basis since Outlook '97. I'm sure I'll run into problems on down the road, but converting all of my e-mail folders from Express was a snap, in fact I didn't even have to ask Outlook to do so. As soon as I opened Outlook up, it took me through getting the conversion done. I also expected the install to take a god-awful amount of time, but that was not the case. 20 minutes after I popped the CD into the tray I was playing with Outlook. I haven't even opened any of the other Office 2003 programs, but I have to say...I'm impressed. And for once, I also have to say, thank you Microsoft.

Filed in: Sports Tech InformationDesk

Inbox Attack

I don't know about anyone else, but my inbox seems to be under attack right now. It's all because of a new virus that is a mass mailer virus. It comes into your inbox and might have one of the following subjects:

• test
• hi
• hello
• Mail Delivery System
• Mail Transaction Failed
• Server Report
• Status
• Error

It also contains an attachment, usually one like body.pif or test.pif.

My mother-in-law is one of the unlucky ones who is infected by this worm that once it infects you, sends out emails randomly to people in your address book. But, the little bugger is smart to. It looks for addresses that contain words like admin or webmaster and skips over those. We wouldn't want it infected anyone who might recognize the mail message as a virus now would we?

Anyway, if you receive this e-mail, even if it is from a friend, especially if it comes from a friend, do not even open it. DELETE IT. Once it is deleted, empty your deleted items just to make sure it's gone. Also, to make sure you do not open it, turn off the preview pane in your email program. I've said this a lot before, but your preview pane automatically opens the message. TURN IT OFF!!! In Outlook Express Click on View-->Layout and uncheck Preview Pane.

If you've already been infected, Symantec has good information in what to do to disinfect you system. You can find that response here:
Symantec Security Response - W32.Novarg.A@mm

UPDATE: Panda has a very thorough and user-friendly site for how to figure out if you are infected and how to get rid of it if you are. Go Here for more details:
Panda Software - Virus Info

Filed in: HelpDesk InformationDesk

Links, We don't need no stinkin links

I'm sitting at my computer this morning, doing my sweeps thing, when it dawned on me that it's Friday. It also occured to me that I have not spewed forth any links for a couple weeks now. I know you are all a patient lot, but I can not afford to neglect your needs any longer. I can smell the revolt, and it don't smell good. So, without further ado, here are your drugs links.

I'll start off this week with a true piece of sophisticated humour. Yes, it's so sophisticated that humour is spelled with a u.
Top Shelf Humour

Ok, I know, that was rather annoying. Feel like taking out your aggressions on that thing? Then you've come to the right place. However, I don't suggest this one to all of you true cat lovers out there (It's almost too much for me).
Clay Kitten Shooting II / Game

Here's a little message that I found over at Buzz's Site that just may explain a few things about men that will hopefully bridge the gap between the two sexes:
Message

What week would be complete without a reference to the king of plop? Check out this flash game.
Escape From Neverland

Are you stumped for a gift idea for Aunt so-and-so or cousin whats-his-name? Maybe your looking for that perfect wedding gift for the couple who's registry has already been pillaged of all the good gifts. Well, don't say I never gave you nothing, because this little gift is perfect for any occassion:
Things You Never Knew Existed : Product Details [Shocking Roulette Game]

I don't really know what else to say about the drum flash bit besides...Wow!!
Drums Audio

For those of you who are just plain sick and tire of the commercialization of miniature golf, we have a course for you. So put on your rubber boots and sterilized gloves and grab your bottle of bactine kids, cuz its time to play putt-putt:
Miniature Golf Course

Are you sick and tired of how long the security lines have gotten in airports these days. Yeah, I here ya complaining out there. Well, let's just see how well you do then shall we?

Airport security

Wait a minute, I think there was a serious message behind that last game. Your thinking, I don't click on these links to think. Ok, here's an addictive game that I guarantee has no hidden agenda, besides maybe sucking all the productivity out of your day.
The ESP Game: Labeling the Web

Ok, your now thinking to yourself, "Sure, no agendas, but I still had to think, like, way too much". So, I will end this week's links with a multitude of goodies guaranteed not to make you think, wait, what was I doing?
b3ta newsletter presents: cursor love bunny | Donkey Kong Jr. | Funderstanding Roller Coaster | Speed | Twiddlestix - Miniclip.com

Well, that's all I got, hope you enjoy your weekend.

Filed in: Links Humor Video

Make the madness end

The guys at UF just don't know when to quit with this week's badger theme, but come to think of it, neither do I.

Click to make much gooder:

Filed in: Humor

More Humor

While I'm still preoccupied taking care of my now two addictions, I will try to keep you entertained by ripping someone else off:

You know you are living in the year 2004 when:

A. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is because they do not have e-mail.

B. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

C. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

D. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

E. Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom of the screen.

F You buy a computer and 3 months later it's out of date and sells for half the price you paid.

G. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.

H. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning.

I. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.

J. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

K. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.

L. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.

M. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

N. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.

O. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

P. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

Q. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on your way back to bed.

R. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

Found here: Buzzstuff: 2004

Filed in: Sweepstakes Blog Forwarded Humor Joke