Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Frustration

I do not know how useful dreams can be to someone when translated, I have never tried to have mine interpretted. Mostly because I can never remeber the many, many details of my dreams that I have. I can vividly recall these details at 3:30 when I awake from my dream, but once I go back to sleep those details are gone, erased from my memory banks. There are always some remnants left in the recycle bin, just enough to remind me that I dearly wanted to remember the whole dream. I wonder if the other 90% of my brain is trying to tell me things that it can not tell me during the normal course of the day because I haven't learned how to listen to it.

The pieces I do remember from last night's episode are somewhat recurring. My wife, kids and I are all living in the house I grew up in (which is 3000 miles away) and the dog I grew up with lives with us (she has been dead for about 6 years now). Fragments are all that I have left after that, like the dog sitting on a chair at the table eating dinner with us. There was also a statement of some sort that had some meaning behind it; "Come to me ....., as you did last night, ......". When I awoke at 3:30 I knew what that meaning was, and why my dog dined with us, but I don't remember any more. That is what makes not being able to remember frustrating. Usually the instant I wake up, I know the meaning of my dreams, but once I go back to sleep, or even start thinking about something else, the meaning is lost. Maybe a pen and pad of paper on the nightstand is necessary, to help decrypt the messages my subconcious is trying to send me. It's ironic that the only dreams I truly remember the next day are the ones I wish I could forget.

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