Friday, May 27, 2005

King of the Comeback

Much too moronic for rational or intelligent statements when in an argument or while being confronted, he is....the Kink of the Comeback.



On my way home from work one day last week, my usual route home was blocked by construction, leaving me with no other choice but to take back roads. I was traveling down one such road, a busy one, approaching a stop sign. The line to the stop sign was backed up to the point of blocking a development's entrance, if I were not to stop short of it and let a few cars turn in front of me. Some asswipe in a Corvette, however, decides that he's too good to wait and comes from somewhere behind me, trying to pass the line on the right hand shoulder, almost hitting the car turning into the development in front of me and almost hitting me while trying to avoid that accident. As soon as that car passed he gassed it again, putting himself in line a whole one car ahead of me, almost being hit by the other car that I was letting turn into the development.

After calmly rolling down the window and shouting a few chosen words, to which I got no reaction from the asswipe (pronounced a-swipay, he did look italian), we both ended up going straight through the next intersection. I remained one car behind the almost one-hit wonder. As we approached the next lighted intersection, I needed to go left, and it appeared as though asswipe would go straight. I veered into the left hand turning lane and started to pass asswipe, when he started gazing off into the field on the side of the road and almost swerved into my car again, before stopping at the stoplight.

At this point I've had enough, so I backed up a few inches to even my car up with his, rolled down my window and asked if he was paying attention to what he was doing. When he turned down his music and asked me what I said, I calmly and rationally said (yelled) "Why don't you open you (expletive) eyes and pay attention to where your (expletive) going jackass." His reply to my verbal assault was brilliant. He thought for a second and said "(expletive) off". Ah yes I could tell I was bantering with a genius.

Now I admit, that the expletives were exiting my mouth way more expediantly than I normally care for, but at least I was sandwiching them in between rational thought. As the "conversation" went on, the only thing he kept saying is "where you at, where you at". What does that mean exactly? Was he trying to tell me that although he could not match my wit or knew he was wrong, that he would like to make himself feel more manly by challenging me to a fight? Pretty common for an asswipe.

Finally the light turned green and as we started heading our separate ways, I leaned into the passenger side window, and yelled "just open your eyes and pay attention". His final comeback was "you open your eyes".

Wow, Maybe I should.
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