One Girl v. Two Boys

While working today, my wife calls me and says "You could've left me one." I immediately go on the defensive, thinking "uh, oh, what have I done now..." and sheepishly say "what are you talking about honey?". She goes on to explain that we have two boys in the house and I could've left the girl alone. You see, my wife found our five year old daughter in her brother's room watching football on ESPN. An insignificant Bowl Game between Navy and Texas Tech to boot. My response to my wife??

"That's my girl!!!"

Filed in: Family Humor

New IE Vulnerability

There is a new Vulnerability in Internet Explorer that everyone needs to know about it. I read about it in today edition of Windows Fanatics from the Lockergnome. What do you need to know? I'll let them do the explaining as they do it best:

Ken Colburn of Data Doctors answers Lawrence, who wonders:

Q: What exactly is this new Internet address problem and what do I need to
do?
A: Newly discovered vulnerabilities that are 'critical' in nature are
nothing new for the world's most prolific software maker, Microsoft.
Virtually every program made by the giant in Redmond, Washington is the
target of Microsoft haters, hackers, crackers, security firms looking for
exposure, or script kiddies (hacker wannabes).
The most recent of at least 20 this year, however, is especially
troubling for a couple of reasons.

The first is that, because it involves the Internet Explorer browser, it affects about 90% of the Internet public. The second is that it plays on
the years of advice given to Internet users for determining whether they
are on a trusted Web site, opening the way for massive identity theft and
credit card fraud.
The vulnerability allows malicious coders to create Web sites that look
exactly like legitimate sites, credit card companies, or online
merchants, and 'spoof' the web addresses. When a user is at one of these sites and looks in the
address section of IE, it will appear as if they are at that company's
site.

Everything from the https:// to the little yellow padlock at the bottom
of the 'secure' page can appear complete with the spoofed company's web
address or URL (Universal Resource Locator) in the proper places.
This means that you can no longer trust what you see in the address bar,
especially if you are clicking on a link from an e-mail message or from
another web site. The possibilities are endless and very dangerous for
the less technical Internet going public.
You can test your browser for this vulnerability by going to
www.secunia.com.
The problem was discovered by someone who goes by the alias 'Zap the
Dingbat' that posted the alert on a security mailing list, which did not
give Microsoft an opportunity to create a fix for the problem before it
was made public.
As a courtesy, most security companies will give software vendors some
lead-time with a newly discovered vulnerability so that the company can
come up with a fix before the problem is made public.
As of this writing, Microsoft has yet to fix the problem,
however, an open source project that is located at Openwares.org has posted a patch.

Because of this latest method of tricking users into divulging personal
and financial information, it is important that you do not click on any
links in e-mail that supposedly come from your bank, eBay, PayPal,
Amazon.com or any online merchant or financial institution.
If you receive what you think is a legitimate e-mail message from one of
your financial or merchant Web sites, do not click on any link in the e-
mail, especially if it is asking you to update your information.
Always go to the company's Web site manually by opening your browser
yourself and typing in the actual address for the company. If the
information sent in the e-mail is legitimate, then you should be able to
access it through the companies Web site when you sign-in or login to your
account.
If you want a more technical approach to detecting spoofed addresses and
links, I have posted Microsoft's recommendations at
www.datadoctors.com/redir.cfm/spoof.

Filed in: InformationDesk

New Year's Festivities

Not that I needed any further reason to hold our 4th Annual New Year's Eve Party at my house, but I found this little Public Service Announcement from the state of Texas that assures me we are doing the safe thing. The participants are either from our block (can walk or crawl home) or stay in our house for the night. Take a look here to see why. (Best viewed on an empty stomach)

|Via RWG|

Filed in: Forwarded

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

I don't have much else to say about this. I thought the Elk's Lodge was a "Family Friendly" Establishment. Obviously, that is not the case at this Chapter. Never before have I seen such blatant advertising or target marketing. What's next, a morgue with a sign out front saying "Hey, wanna kill someone...Kill 'em here!!"

Filed in: Humor Pictures

Admitting Guilt

My daughter is a very tough little girl to wake up. And on days when she hasn't had enough sleep, the task proves even tougher and she spends most of the morning in a daze. This morning was one of those mornings.

We were headed up the hills for some sledding fun (pictures to come) but first we stopped by Marcy's Aunt & Uncle's house as it is on the way for us. Breanna was so much in a daze that she didn't want to talk, which is completely opposite of her usual self. She even started to cry because she was so tired, but we chalked it up to normal tiredness, even though she was way more moody than usual.

After we hit the snow, where she finally did wake up, and were travelling back down the hill Breanna drops the bombshell on her old man, which would be me. You see, she had a little bit of a cough this morning, so I wanted to be extra careful. I gave her some cough medicine. What I didn't realize, but Marcy immediately knew upon Breanna telling her that Daddy gave her cough medicine, was that the medicine I gave her was a "Night Time" medicine.

I do not usually get in the habit of drugging my children before a day trip, and let me tell you, I'll make sure to never do it again....although, she was nice and quiet in the car on the way there....

Filed in: UncommonlySenseless Family

We Have to do What???

Happy Christmas Eve everyone!!! Unfortunately My wife and I have the perilous task of going to the mall today to finish shopping. I was watching The Two Towers last night, and I've been watching a lot of the Pirates of the Carribean (Marcy's favorite movie), so I think I am prepared to go into what will surely be pandemonium. If only I had me a sword....

Filed in: Family Humor UncommonlySenseless

...And Eat Them Too

Go ahead, make your cookies this year, but make sure you don't get sued by printing the following contract out and having Santa sign it.
Christmas Cookie Liability and Indemnification Agreement

Christmas Cookie Liability and Indemnification Agreement

Santa Claus, AKA Kris Kringle, AKA Jolly Old St. Nick (hereinafter referred to as "Santa") acknowledges receipt of Christmas cookies from ______________________ (hereinafter referred to as "Baker").

Santa acknowledges and understands that no warranty, either expressed or implied, is made by Baker as to the nutritional content of cookies. This document is offered to duly warn Santa that dangerous conditions, risks, and hazards may result from over-consumption of cookies. Santa is hereby informed that cookies may contain any of the following: calories, carbohydrates, sodium (salt), fat, saturated fat, trans fat, polyunsaturated fat, monounsaturated fat, nuts, sugar, caffeine, and good cheer. Santa acknowledges that eating way too many cookies may incur risks including, but not limited to, satiation, indigestion, heart burn, dizziness, laziness, heart disease, holiday spirit, "food coma," and "that bloated feeling."

As consideration for accepting Baker's cookies, Santa indemnifies Baker from all liability for injury or other harm (including obesity) which may be caused, in whole or in part, by said "too many" cookies. Santa agrees that neither he, nor his heirs or personal representatives will sue Baker for any injury suffered, in whole or in part, as a consequence of binging on cookies. Santa assumes full responsibility and will indemnify Baker for any damages in the event that he transfers cookies to any third party (including, but not limited to, potential claimants Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, Mrs. Claus, and various elves).

This indemnification includes an agreement not to haul Baker into court on the basis of:

Failure to provide nutrition information and a list of ingredients (the "Grandma's secret recipe" clause);
Failure to caution of the potential for overeating because cookies taste too good and are provided at no cost;
Failure to advise that walking, biking, and jogging will shed pounds, but riding around on a sleigh will not;

Failure to warn that Christmas lights, lawn ornaments (plastic reindeer, snowmen, etc.) and other holiday decorations may constitute manipulative marketing to lure Santa into over-consumption.
Failure to offer "healthier" cookie alternatives (e.g., tofu bars);
Failure to counsel that cookies may be habit-forming and/or irresistible; and
Failure to notify that eating way too many cookies may lead to even greater levels of obesity for St. Nick (the "Sanity Clause").

SANTA HAS READ THIS DOCUMENT AND UNDERSTANDS IT. SANTA IS SIGNING IT FREELY AND VOLUNTARILY, AND PROMISES NOT TO APPEAR AS A WITNESS IN SUPPORT OF JOHN "SUE THE BASTARDS" BANZHAF, ESQ., AT ANY TIME IN THE FUTURE.

SANTA: ___________________________ DATE:__________________

Filed in: Humor Forwarded

Holiday Greetings (PC Style)

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. In addition, please also accept our best wishes for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2004, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make this country great (not to imply that this country is necessarily greater than any other country or area of choice), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual orientation of the wishers.

This wish is limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. "Holiday" is not intended to, nor shall it be considered, limited to the usual Judeo-Christian celebrations or observances, or to such activities of any organized or ad hoc religious community, group, individual or belief (or lack thereof).

Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or for no reason at all. This greeting is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for the wisher her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may arise from the implementation or non- implementation of it.

This greeting is void where prohibited by law, or if you consider it to be in bad taste, or in any other way slightly offensive to you, either now or in the future 12 months.

Sincerely (and hopefully, correctly) yours,

Mike

Filed in: Humor Forwarded

Holy Jeez, I just wanted to Link em!!

The weeks are flying by as the shopping days dwindle away. It's already time for more links. Bonus points to anyone, besides Bobby, who can tell me where this weeks title comes from.

I wanted to start this week by showing you what I think may become our next national past time:
Pentrix - Videos

Moving right along, I have a couple of Christmas links for ya:
Santa's Naughty List | Slingshot Santa

This next movie clip will join all nationalities and religions together this holiday season, to collectively say with one voice.....WTF????
Sheep Boy

My first rule while celebrating during this holiday season will be not to party with the guy from the last clip. Here's some more rules for ya:
The Onion | Drinking Responsibly During The Holidays

Now that we got Sadam, he has started to point the finger at some of his compadres. I found a copy of the press briefing here:
Terrorist Names

I know, I know...I tricked ya....but don't fret. Check out some Real American Heroes here:

Real American Heroes...

Yes, I hear ya, your saying..."Where's the games". We'll finish this week with some real time killers. Have fun:
Globulos | .:: Revelate - Gyroball ::.

Hope you enjoyed this week's links. Have a great week and a great Christmas as well (or any other holiday you may celibrate)!!

Filed in: Humor Blog Video

Mmm, Mmm Good

If you have a favorite NFL team, you can donate a can of soup to the needy, for free. Cambell's is donating one can of soup for every one that visits here and clicks on there favorite team. You even get to see how many cans have been donated per team. The Browns currently stand in 10th place, so get voting now.

More links to come.....

Filed in: Forwarded

Almost Famous

Lookee, Lookee, a posting of mine about giant inflatable christmas decorations drew some attention. I'm in the LA Times (requires free registration):

It's a huge fad

In case you don't want to, or can't, register, Roy Rivenburg finishes his article with a quote from moi:

Mike Grace of Lathrop, Calif., proposes a more down-to-earth defense of yuletide blow-ups. "I have the inflatable snowman and a neighbor has the Homer Simpson Santa," he says. "In California, these are necessities. Without gaudy decorations and lights, no one would know it's Christmas."

Filed in: Blog

International Lottery Scam

Got an e-mail today that proclaimed me the winner of an international lottery I don't remember entering. There is a phone number that I can call and find out how to claim my winnings. Of course, a quick search of snopes.com reveals this to be a fraud.

If a person calls to find out how to obtain their "winnings" they are told to give them their bank account number, and then wire them, the scammers, the handling fees quickly, so they, the scammer, may wire the winnings directly into their account. You can read more about it here.

I've also included what the e-mail looks like below so you know what to avoid...

Date: Tue, 16 Dec 2003 20:43:44 GMT
From: stevemore100@netscape.net
Subject: [Scanned by SpamNet] AWARD NOTIFICATION.

WINNING NOTICE FOR CATEGORY "C" WINNER INTERNATIONAL

LOTTO NETHERLAND IL/FLW/12-C572392379:

It is our pleasure to inform you that you have emerged as a Category "C" winner of the international Lotto Netherland. CONGRATULATIONS! You are entitled to a
prize sum of 1,500,000.00 Euros. Reference number for your prize is IL/FLW/12-C572392379 , ticket number A/03-4912.

As a category "C" winner, you have been selected from a total number of 25,000 names drawn from Asia, Africa, Europe, Middle East and America. After the computer ballot of our International Promotions Program, only Three winners emerged in this category and therefore are to receive payouts of 1,500,000.00 Euros from the total 15,000,000.00 Euros for First category winners.
To immediately collect your prize, please contact our Category "C" financial handlers with information below:

Mr Raymomd Williams
Financial Director
Global Security and Finance Company BV
Tel/Fax: 31-625 221 322
ray4will30@netscape.net

Provide prize reference number IL/FLW/12-C572392379 and winning ticket number-A/03-4912 for confirmation. In your best interests, you must initiate contact within one week of receipt of this correspondence.Global security and finance company BV will handle all financial matters with regards to claiming your prize. You are also advised to send a copy of this email,either by fax or email,to your financial handler Mr Rarmond Williams,when contacting him.

You are to keep all lotto information from the public as we will not entertain cases of multiple claims processing or compromise the privacy and
security for all winners.

Other necessary International Lotto Netherland information are:

Draw 1 number: 01-11417
Draw 2 number: 02-7962
Draw 3 number: 03-4365
International Lottery code no: IL56009

You may be required to provide any of the above
information during the process of collecting your
prize.

Please be informed that NON RESIDENCE of THE NETHERLANDS will be required to make a NON DEDUCTABLE advance payment of processment and legal documentation charges of 2.200.00 Euros to enable our legal department acquire Naturalization papers from the Court prior to award payment policy as required by the paying Financial Securiry Company.


We congratulate you once again and it is our hope that you participate in any of our international programs in the nearest future.
Thank you.

Sincerely,

Steve More
Promotions Manager
International Lotto Netherlands.

Filed in: InformationDesk

Let's All Shop At Sears

I got this e-mail this morning from my wife Marcy, who so diligently verified it's truthfullness on snopes.com. You can as well by clicking here.

Subject: Lets Shop At Sears

Have you heard all about how Sears is treating its reservist employees who are called up? By law, they are required to hold their jobs open and available, but nothing more. Usually, people take a big pay cut and lose benefits as a result of being called up...
Sears is voluntarily paying the difference in salaries and maintaining all benefits, including medical insurance and bonus programs, for all called up reservist employees for up to two years. I submit that Sears is an exemplary corporate citizen and should be recognized for its contribution.

Suggest we all shop at Sears, and be sure to find a manager to tell them why we are there so the company gets the positive reinforcement it well deserves.

I decided to check this out before I sent it forward. I sent the following email to the Sears Customer Service Department:

"I received this email and I would like to know if it is true. If it is, the Internet may have just become one very good source of advertisement for your store. I know I would go out of my way to buy products from Sears instead of another store for a like item even if it was cheaper at the other store."

Here is their answer to my email......................

Dear Customer:

Thank you for contacting Sears. The information is factual. We appreciate your positive feedback. Sears regards service to our country as one of greatest sacrifices our young men and women can make. We are happy to do our part to lessen the burden they bear at this time.

Bill Thorn
Sears Customer Care
webcenter@sears.com
1-800-349-4358

Please pass this on to all your friends..... Sears needs to be recognized for this outstanding contribution and we need to show them, as Americans, we do appreciate what they are doing for our military.

Filed in: Forwarded

Caption Contest

"See, I told you...I'll take that preperation H stuff every day of the week over those tucks pads...and twice on Sundays."

I just couldn't help it, Butch does come out of Sunday's games with some funny as hell expressions on his face. Got any good captions of your own for this one? Leave them in my comments.

Filed in: Humor

Friday, a Time for Links

Hello everyone, and welcome to another edition of linky Friday here at the bmg, where every Friday is linkalicious.

We will begin today with a trip overseas, to find someone who may be the most talented person I have ever seen take a stage...or at least the most bored.
Hugi - Háhraði

Next, let's roll out the Holiday spirit with these seasonal items:
Polar Bowler | Holiday Snowglobe | naked-i.com :: Create a Snowman

Here's another one, but this one's not for the kiddies, eh?

The White Christmas Game

Next, I would like to take a second and salute those manly men out there. You know who I'm talking about...the hockey fan.
Manly Men

Last week, we provided you with great ways to kill time while drunk, even at work, but hey, we also like to be informative here at bmg as well as comical. So let's find out just how much we've spent on our benders, shall we.
Drinkometer - The Drink-o-Meter Test - How much Alcohol have you consumed?

Here's a little game sure to make you wonder, "hey, why can't I stop playing this stupid thing?"
fan and ball

And what week would be complete without a classic arcade emulator and a falling object game, once again courtesy of my wife Marcy, who tells me I find the strangest things.

Norbert's Emulators | Jacko's Baby Drop

That's all for this week. Hope you had as much fun as I did, or at least learned something about yourself.

Filed in: Humor Blog Video

No...More....Power

We are done, ok maybe not completely done, but as done as we're going to be. Whether we want to be done or not however, we have run out of power, so for now...we are done. We wont give any of these houses a run for their money, but I think we did just fine with what we got.

Filed in: Family Christmas Pictures

GI Jane?

Ever since Halloween came and went, Breanna has been obsessed with what she, and every one else around her, will dress up as next year. She's also following her brother's lead and taking an interest in the Marines. Last night she told me and Marcy what she has decided to be next year.

Breanna: What are you going to be for next Halloween Mommy?
Marcy: I don't know yet honey, what are you going to be?
Breanna: ummm...
Marcy: Your going to be a butterfly.

Breanna: No, I'm going to be Klinch.
Marcy and Mike: What?!!!
Breanna: You know, from that movie, Saving Jessa Klinch.

Filed in: OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

Links, Links, Links

A whole mess of 'em for ya today. Before we start though, has any of you gone to google and typed in "Miserable Failure" and then clicked the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. No?? Go do it. Alright, enough chit chat, on with the links.

Lets start with a couple of little links, designed for those of you completely bored, but easily amused type people:

Bubble Pop & Virtual Stapler & Toren van beren

Here's some rules to remember this weekend, when your drunk:

Modern Drunkard Index

And when you get home from the bar, we all know this game well:
Promillelukko

Once you do make it in the door, try this little test on for size:
digitalbackpack presents... DRIVER'S ED

Here's a couple of gems to get you into that Christmas spirit:
Happy Holidays from Chaoskitty & The 12 STIs Of Christmas

Ok, I'll finish up this week with a couple of completely non-related links....or are they?? Hope you enjoy:
Paris Hilton Flash Game - Scott.Canoni.com & End of the World

Filed in: Humor Blog Video

Attachment Fiends

As you all know, the number one cause of computer infections from viruses or trojans is the blind opening of e-mail attachments. You did know that right? Well if you didn't, consider yourself warned. There's a new worm working it's way through inboxes, enticing the e-mail receiver to open it's attachment by promise of sexual pictures. The attachment, called wendy.exe, is not pictures at all, but an executable file that will run it's malicious code if you open it. What happens when someone is intrigued enough to open the attachment? Read about it here:

Spammers send Wendy after anti-spammers

I received this e-mail just now, and it looks a little something like this (click on "more"):

Hi Greg its Wendy.

I was shocked, when I found out that it wasn't you but your twin brother, that's amazing, you're as like as two peas. No one in bed is better than you Greg. I remember, I remember everything very well, that promised you to tell how it was, I'll give you a call today after 9. He took my skirt off, then my panties, then my bra, he sucked my t**s, with the same fury you do it. He was writing alphabet on my p***y for 20 minutes, then suddenly stopped, put me in doggy style position and stuck his dagger. But Greg, why didn't you warn me that his d**k is 15 inches long? I was struck, we f****d whole night. I'm so thankful to you, for acquainted me to your brother. I think we can do it on the next Saturday all three together? What do you think? O yes, as you wanted I've made a few pictures check them out in archive, I hope they will excite you, and you will dream of our new meeting...

Filed in: InformationDesk

Say what?

One of the veteran operators here at work just told me this joke:

Q: What did Mr. Wong name his red-headed son upon seeing him at birth?

A: Sum-Ching

Now that, my friends, is comedy.

Filed in: Joke

Coincidence?

A fellow blogger had some problems last night when he ran into the coincidence fairies. Ah yes, I have had my share of experiences with them as well. They've done the following things in my office:

While a new firewall was being installed, the fiber lines of our ISP were cut, making us spend hours trying to configure a firewall that would never work.

A hard drive went bad, the same time we were having problems with our DSL circuit causing intermittent internet connection for the office.

While the DSL circuit was being repaired, our firewall went bad, making it very difficult to test if the circuit was working properly.

That triggered my backups (on DDS-3) to stop working, (this one more predictable however due to the end of the tapes' lifespan).

Yes I know the coincidence fairies well, they are quite difficult to explain to the boss though.

Filed in: HelpDesk

Weiner Dogs

In response to yesterday's post, Bobby, who shares the same deranged sense of humor that I do, emailed me the following:

Ok hear me out on this, The site wouldnt be dedicated only to Beverlys dogs, but Many other "Hot Wieners". What about the name www.doggystyle.com or www.lookatmywiener.com, www.leghumping.com, www.porknwieners.com. I think they are all good names but certainly wouldnt want to limit our selection to just these. Also I have included some of the types of pictures that the website might offer to the wiener enthusiast... enjoy

Sick, I know, but he's Bobby, ya gotta love him.

Filed in: Humor Family

Speaking of...

Bobby brought up the tryptophan phenomenon this past weekend and there were several questions asked like "Why does it do that?" I had heard of tryptophan before as well, so me and Bobby answered them, "I don't know...it just does. If that answer wasn't good enough for you, try this one:
Howstuffworks "Is there something in turkey that makes you sleepy?"
{via Damaged Goods}

Filed in: InformationDesk

Thanksgiving Weekend

Wow, I can't believe I survived another Thanksgiving weekend. After Thanksgiving Day itself, and then going out that night; all the chaos and comotion that is shopping the day after Christmas; and getting a good start on hanging Christmas lights you might think that I would be in some sort of epileptic coma, but, here I sit, late Sunday night, still alive and kicking.

Since this is the weekend of Thanks, I would like to give thanks to those who have deserved it this past weekend. First of all, thanks to my mother-in-law for preparing a hearty Thanksgiving feast. Also to my father-in-law, for what feast would be complete without his sausage stuffing. Thanks to Beverly's daughter Char for cooking an incredible Mexican Feast to end our Holiday weekend. Thanks to Beverly for having Weener Dogs (and even though she says she wont) eventually setting up the "Humping Weener Dog Cam" site, which will entertain millions of future visitors. Thanks to Bobby for being a good brother-in-law and telling me about Beverly's Humping Weener Dogs. Thanks to all who participated in going out with us Thursday night, if not for you and keeping me and Marcy out late on Thursday, we would most likely have ended up standing in lines early Friday morn waiting for sales. Most of all, and seriously, thanks to Marcy and my kids for putting up with me, and my twisted sense of humor, for another year. I love you all.

Filed in: Family Pictures

Turkey Day

Thanksgiving, the time of the year that you sit down, with your family all around you, and enjoy a hot, freshly made, right out of the oven, batch of linky deliciousness. Can you smell what I'm cooking, I know you can.

We'll start this special Holiday batch of goodies off with a treat. Anyone who has been around me for the past few years knows that I've been hyponitized twice in public settings. Now you can undergo the wonders of hypnosis in the comfort of your own home, without all the people pointing and laughing at you. So go, be hypnotized. :: Dr. J.H. Rabailkal - Hypnotic experiment No. 1.

There now, wasn't that fun? I hope you didn't do anything illegal while you were under, what's that??? You did what?? I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to arrest yourself!! :: Citizen's Self-Arrest Form

Speaking of being arrested, I know as well as anyone, how frustrating spam, pop-up ads and spyware can be, but this man has taken it a little too far. :: Man gets "spam rage"

Tired of hearing the same old songs, sung the same old way. Let some of the biggest names in the recording industry put a new spin on your favorite songs. :: Let them sing it for you

Thanksgiving makes us realize that it's the simple things in life that we have to be thankful for...like this. :: Newton's Penguins

This public service announcement brought to by the YCBSEFE (You Can Blame Someone Else For Everything) commission. :: Smoke Kills

Here at the bmg, we realize that time spent with family at this time of year is precious...We also realize that given any excuse to get some time away from them is a god send. With that in mind, we bring to you these all too-important, time consuming games:

Stick Figure Fight
Flip Flap
Sierra Entertainment: Lords of the Realm III
SnowFight
Toboggan Run

Hope you enjoyed your stay with us this Thanksgiving day. We know that you have many things to be thankful for today, we just want to be one of them. Til next time.

Filed in: Humor Blog Video

But will it be hackproof?

Chip implant gets cash under your skin

Every single device that has been invented that I know of has been hacked in to. I will not put anything underneath my skin that people are going to want to hack. If they find a way to disallow hacking I'll be first in line, but until then....count me out.

Filed in: InformationDesk

Wine Trip

Sunday Marcy, myself, Bobby and his date Beverly went to Shenandoah Valley wine country to consume great quantities of wine do a little wine tasting. Fun was had by all as we made our way through Young's Vineyard, Sonora Winery & Port Works, Bella Piazza, Villa Toscano, Story Winery (picked up our futures), Karly, TKC Vineyards, Renwood Winery, Deaver Vineyards, Drytown Cellars, and finally stopping by our favorite wine shop in Sutter Creek, Sutter Creek Wine Tasting, to finish our day. Proof can be found. At the end of the night we all went back to our house for a fantastic dinner prepared by Beverly, and some more wine that we picked up during the day.

Filed in: Family Travel Pictures

Useful Information

Thought you may want to know, before dishing out hundreds of dollars on that new iPod for Christmas, it won't last you two years. Having an irreplacable battery leads to the ever-annoying customer support mantra of "It's cheaper to get a new one that to fix it".
iPod's Dirty Secret

Filed in: InformationDesk

Ooops

I know, I said I'd post some links (because I know everyone is just so damn bored that you sit around and wait to click on 'em), but I didn't. Sorry, I'll try to make up for it this week.

I'll start this week with the cooles public service announcement I have ever seen. If you like the matrix, you'll love....The Meatrix!!

Just a hop, skip and segue from there will take us to our next stop. This fan movie has some of the coolest fighting scenes this side of Hollywood. The acting may not be so great, but who really cares about the acting anyway. Check out "The Fanimatrix".

This next bit of linky deliciousness will keep all you cat lovers occupied for hours on end (ok maybe minutes, but how dramatic is that?) What are you waiting for, you know you wanna, pet the kitty.

The remaining links this week are games. Enjoy!!

Filed in: Humor Blog Video

It's been awhile

I know your out there, waiting, growing more and more impatient, wondering....WHERE ARE THE LINKS?!?!?! I'll get around to it, I swear. I'm just getting over a nasty case of Bronchitis in which my doc refused to give me any antibiotics. He said that they've been proven not to work about 50% of the time, and in those cases where they don't work and pneumonia sets in, that person is in so much worse shape because their body is then immune to the antibiotic that fights pneumonia. So I took his advice, but my bronchitis did not want to let up, at all. I'm just now feeling better this week.

Anway, like I said before, the links will be coming shortly, in fact...maybe I'll throw you a bone or two while I'm at it now. Check this out, a scratch and sniff website, the first of it's kind:

Smell the Pretty Flowers

Maybe one more for now, an ADHD test, but then again, if you have ADHD you wont still be reading this post will you???

ADD/ADHD Test

Stick around, there'll be more links comin your way shorthly.

Filed in: Humor Blog Video

What I've Learned

As I've Matured...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that one good turn gets most of theblankets.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jack asses.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

Filed in: Forwarded

Link Regurgitation

Not much time for introduction today, go too much work to get done before the weekend starts. It's cool though, I've got Brand New crankin and I'm jamming out the work.

In no certain order, here ya go. Have fun (Hint:: mouse-over the links for a brief description):

• WTH????


• Alien Abduction - Miniclip.com



• newsgaming.com -- sep12


• Dyson UK -


• Megaman vs Metroid


• .: The ultimate Space Invaders Shrine


• RSVP


• Paint by Numbers - KAJ971229


• Matrix Cow

Filed in: Humor Blog Video

Rules

Another blog that usually can never be taken seriously stepped up and hit one out-of-the-park with this post the he has titled "Rules for Men". I think this should be required reading for all those people who I just spoke about in today's previous post, not just the men.

Filed in: Blog

Happy with yourself

A fellow blogger and usual funny man has been feeling rather glum lately. Today he begged the question why can't people just be happy with what they have? He asks a good question.

In my 28 (almost 29) years of experience, I have known many people, my ex-wife included, that are never happy with what they have, and always are striving for what they don't. Some people use this trait to their advantage and are quite successful in the business world. Others however, hurt those around them by never being satisfied with what you give them. My ex-wife was that way, no matter what I gave, she wanted something else. It seemed to stem from the fact that she, and those like her, never quite figured out what they wanted, or who they were. I guess it's like the saying, until your happy with yourself, you'll never be happy with the people and things around you. So tell me...are you happy with yourself?

Filed in: AboutMe Blog

When I grow up

Marcy: "Breanna, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Breanna: "6, because when I'm 7, I'll have a loose tooth."

Ah, yes the true sign of adulthood. The loose tooth. Five minutes later.

Marcy: "Do you want to take a bath tonight or in the morning?"
Breanna: "Tonight, because if not my bed will get all wet."
Marcy: "How will your bed get all wet if you don't take a bath?"
Breanna: "Because I'll get it all dirty and jacked up."

Now, where she learned the term "jacked up" is a mystery. I haven't used that term since high school.

Filed in: OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

Link Nazi

OK, so it's Saturday, I'm a day late. Sue me, what's that I hear. Are you complaining, No Links for you!! OK, not really...I think it much worse punishment to put these links here, I know you can't not click them.

Starting off this week with a couple from the "People with way too much time on their hands" category:

The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Project & Bonsai Potato

Next we have one from the "Somebody's going to hell for putting up this website" category:

WWYS

My soul isn't worth much, so that's a good thing, right? Ok, I know some of you like candid camera, so our next entry comes from the "Talk like Michael Jackson" category:

A different kind of Candid Camera

Moving right along, we have one from our cullinary, or as I like to call it "Octupi should not be chefs" category:

Deep Fried, Live! Episode 7: Fleeb Cooks a Cow

If you are like me, a child of the 80's, then this next entry from the "Where did my day just go" category is sure to keep you busy for awhile:

Play your favorite 1980s arcade games online.

Ok, coming from the "I don't know what this is, but it looks cool" category, we bring you:

Liquid Man follows your mouse thingy

I know how you all love celebrities, so from the "Hurt or Mame a celebrity" category, we have:

mung

Half the fun of that one is what happens after you kill him. Ok, not a game of the 80's, but from the "Cool games, sure to make your work pile up" category comes:

Rockface Helicopter Rescue

Finally, with much ado, the link you've all been waiting for, the grandaddy of all links, from the "What the hell is he thinking" category:

Scampi

Well, that's all, hope you had as much fun as I did. OK, I know that noone is as easily amused as I, but hey, at least I had fun. Til next week.

Filed in: Humor Blog Video

Shameless Plug

Speaking of selling on eBay... If you've been looking for a quilt or unique, one-of-a-kind tote for yourself, or to give as a gift, Marcy has some items, most of which are handmade by her, which she has up for auction at eBay. Check out her items here.

Filed in: Family

I'm eating dinner, let me call you back

Just when one Court System corrects one of it's mistakes by reinstating California's original recall vote date, another Court, for lack of a better expression, really screws the pooch.

Court blocks Do Not Call Registry

And I was so looking forward to eating dinners in peace. Alright, so most of the time I'm in school during dinner time, it's a figure of speech ok?

Filed in: InformationDesk

One month

I received an email today informing me that it has been one month since Marcy and I quit smoking. One month down, the rest of my life to go. Let's take a look at the stats shall we:

My Smoke-Free Stats:
Time Smoke-Free: 30 days, 11 hours, 33 minutes and 38 seconds

Cigarettes NOT smoked: 274
Lifetime Saved: 2 days, 2 hours
Money Saved: $46.73

Filed in: QuitJournal

Sell What?

Here's one for ya. Breanna walks into the room from playing with her brothers and announces to Marcy:

"My brothers are bothering me, so I'm going to sell them on eBay"

Just in case you were wondering, when asked how much she would sell them for, she informed Marcy that she'd sell Michael for $2.50, and Tyler for $50.00.

Filed in: OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

Friday Links

Who's loved? That's right, I am. Upon reading this post, Marcy grabbed two boxes of Cookie Crisp instead of one, and now I'm happy. Cookie Crisp in my belly, what time is it again? Oh yes, time for another linky good time because it's Friday. It's also International Talk Like A Pirate Day, but we're not going there today. Unless you speak gangsta that is, cuz I've got a little buried treasure for ya, dar.

Everybody else come with me. Where are we going you ask, well to the land of disco of course, Stealth Disco that is. That's right, impress your friends and coworkers without them even knowing.

Hey, stop throwin stuff. Alright, alright, you want games...I got games. Plenty of them. Our first game answers the question, how far can cows fly:

The Flying Cow - Flash

And if your still unsure about the flight ability of barnyard animals, why don't you try some chicken throwing, huh:

POULAGA CHALLENGE

What's that you say, bossman comin your way, well then hurry up...go here:

The Office Space

Not quite sure what this one's all about, but it did keep me occupied for quite some time, even though I couldn't read a thing on the site:

xiiin.com

Here's a game for you "attention to detail" types. A Find the differences game that's a little frustrating to say the least...don't say I didn't warn ya:

::Differences::

Last but not least, I bring you a game sure to make you relax and, and throw your monitor over your cubicle wall, hitting Stan the copier boy and crushing his scull because it's just so much fun:

WIREROOT

There, now don't you feel better...I know I do. Until next time.

Filed in: Humor Blog Video

Growing every day

Ouch, it hurts to have something this big on my shoulders. I can barely look up anymore.

Filed in: AboutMe Forwarded

Hopefully Houston

Since being stationed at Camp Pendleton by the Marines in 1994 and meeting my wife here in 1996, I have been a California Castaway. In the past few years however, it has dawned on both me and my wife that life here in good ole Cali is much too expensive to live. We tried in '99 to move back to my home town, Cleveland, OH, but it wasn't to be.

Presently, an opportunity has presented itself, and we are jumping at it with both feet. The company I work for has a parent company, which happens to be located in Houston. I've been there a couple of times, and while the traffic might not be a whole lot better there than it is here, the brief visits I had were enjoyable. Why am I telling you this? Because there's an opening in the corporate office that I feel I'm perfectly matched for. I have applied for the spot, and with a little bit of luck, I'll be bringing you this blog from Houston.

Now, Marcy and I have been looking at real estate pricing and such online, from what we have seen, houses in the area are relatively cheap. Here's my question for anyone who might be from Houston, what might I expect to pay to move my family into a good neighborhood around some nice schools? What should we look out for? Please leave comments for us if you have any suggestions.

Filed in: Family Travel

Uncommon(ly) Sense(less)

The last few weeks, ok so it's been the last 28 years, but it seems that especially the last few weeks, have shown me that I need more than just my "Out of the mouths of babes" category. Children are not the only ones who say amazing things. They at least have the defense of not knowing any better. I now give you a new category, the Uncommonly Senseless. I will inaugurate my new category with a brief quote from my PLC instructor tonight:

"All the bits on the PLC Trainer are internal...except for the ones that are connected to outside sources"

So, what your saying is that all the bits are internal...except for the ones that are external? I bet his favorite baseball player was Yogi Berra.

Filed in: UncommonlySenseless

Feeling insecure?

If you have Windows XP, 2000 or NT, you should. I ran across this post last Friday: Dave's Chalkboard: ALERT!. It made me comment about how difficult the process is that is involved in securing yourself and how tough it is to get around the internet once you are secure. I wrote:

Me: "Are there any Ramifications of turning the DCOM off? What limitations will I have to deal with by turning on the software firewall? Right now I have a router between the cable modem and my computer...am I safe enough? Thanks."

Dave quickly responded with some great free information:

Dave: "Remote Procedure Calls (RPC) are a type of protocol that allows a program on one computer to execute a program on a server. So a developer could write a client program to call a procedure on a server somewhere with parameters, then the server would return the results to the client program.

It's possible that in an office environment it's being used, but for home users, it's not being used.

Software Firewalls can be a bit of a pain initially. They will pop up a dialog anytime a program trys to access the Internet. Once they have been trained, if a virus or trojan horse tries to communicate with the outside world, you will be informed. You can disable the port right then and there and the virus/trojan will be unable to talk.

Having a router between your computer and your cable modem will protect you from getting the virus so long as you are not the "DMZ" computer. If you haven't gone into the routers settings, your computer won't be in the "DMZ". A computer in the "DMZ" means that it is "outside" of the protection that the router supplies. The comptuer is as vulnerable as if it was connected to the Internet directly. "DMZ" means the same thing with routers as it does with the military, "DeMilitarized Zone".

Now having a router will not protect the Internet if you already have the virus and it is trying to spread itself. The Software Firewall will do that job.

Hope that helps."

Filed in: InformationDesk HelpDesk

Eleven reasons why e-mail is like a male reproductive organ

Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.

Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.

Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.

Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call E-Mail Envy.

It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.

If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses.

If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than it's actual size and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.

...And the number one reason why e-mail is like a male reproductive organ:

If you play with it too much, you go blind...

Filed in: Joke Humor Forwarded

Pinochle?

While we were back in Cleveland, I played some cards with my Mom and Grandma, as usual. We played pinochle. Now I had no idea that Breanna was paying attention, but she was. Today she came in the office, deck of cards in hand, and asked me:

Daddy, do you wanna play peanut-knuckle?

Filed in: OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

He's a Geocacher

My daughter told me when I got home from work that John Ritter died.

Me: I know, so did Johnny Cash
Breanna: Uh-huh
Marcy: Do you know who Johnny Cash is?
Breanna: Yes
Marcy: Who is he?
Breanna: He's a Geocacher

Filed in: OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

Friday's Links

Ahh, another Friday. Already? Actually, this Friday could not get here fast enough. It always seems that way after a short week doesn't it? The regular week takes just that much longer. At least it's almost over. Hey, it is Friday, and you know what that means. Time for some more links to entertain, thrill and make you think that I am the strangest person you have ever met.

We'll start off this week with one from the "awwwwwwwwwwwww" category:

Stupid Cat Videos

Moving right along, this link from the "How do you make it stop" category, is sure to have you drooling at you monitor for hours on end (Please be advised, this link is not for those who are prone to seizures):

Japanese Computer Art

Staying on that side of the globe, from the "Everybody was kung-fu fighting" (Yes I know, it's going to be stuck in your head all day now) category, I bring you:

Stick Figure Kung Fu

The next link is from the "Is nothing sacred anymore?" category:

And knowing is half the battle..

I know what your thinking....Your saying enough, no moremore, more. Well here ya go, from the "Even I can play this game" I bring you this little tidbit:

33

Ok, Ok, that's enough...wait, maybe one more. This one I found in the "These people really need to lay off the shrooms" category:

Badgers? Mushrooms?

Well, that's it for this week. I hope you enjoyed your journey through the worst best the web has to offer. Until next time.

Filed in: Humor Video

It all makes sense now

I get it now. I understand why as a child, I was not supposed to eat the cereal out of the box. It makes sense, now. As I opened the cupboard this morning, I had an epiphany. My parents wanted some too.

I had forgotten all about the Cookie Crisp that we had bought for the kids this weekend until I went for my usual, Honey Nut Cheerios, this morning and saw the box. Instantly, my mouth started to water as I remembered just how good Cookie Crisp is. I imagined pouring myself a bowl and partaking in a little sugary sweetness. It was when I picked up the box that my daydream came to a screaching halt, the box was empty. I know that there is no possible way in the last three days that a whole box of Cookie Crisp could have been eaten in the normal way, which led me to only one conclusion. The children have been eating them out of the box (insert eerie music here).

To this, I just want to say: Mom, Dad...I'm sorry for hogging all the good cereal.

Filed in: UncommonlySenseless Family

Way Too Much Caffeine

I could not get to sleep last night. It was well after midnight when I finally fell asleep. Why?? Too much caffeine. I was tired and needed the boost to help me out with the homework I had to get done, maybe I should have stopped at one cup. Now, I've always been the sort of coffee drinker that could have a couple cups right before going to bed and not be affected by the caffeine, whatsoever. That was, however, until I quit smoking.

Caffeine affects me again. I've actually had to cut back my intake of coffee quite a bit, because by the third of fourth cup of the day, I start to get very jittery. Never affected me that way when I smoked, whether I was on my fourth cup, or my fourth pot. I'm starting to wonder if the nicotine, which is a stimulant, overpowers the caffeine and makes your system immune, or at the very least dulls your senses to the caffeine. Makes me wonder what other senses I will be regaining, besides smell, of course, and taste. I can't wait to find out. Anyone else quit smoking and had this experience?

Haven't posted these in a few days now (double the money saved to include Marcy):
Stats:

Time Smoke-Free: 16 days, 10 hours, 33 minutes and 59 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 148
Lifetime Saved: 1 day, 3 hours
Money Saved: $25.63

Filed in: QuitJournal

What Kids Say

I've been hearing the strangest things and sayings come out of my children's mouth that I decided to start keeping track of them here, in this new category "Out of the Mouths of Babes".

As Marcy told the story, Michael was entertaining the other children with the sweet music of fake fart noises, when Breanna, through heavy laughter, stated:

"I'm lauging so hard, your going to give me a heart attack."

Filed in: OutOfTheMouthsOfBabes

Trouble in Technophile Land

I'm not saying that I am a technophile, more like a wanna-be technophile. Why is it that every time I buy an electronic, something comes out later that same year that makes me drool. Don't get me wrong, I know that the Sony Clie UX-50 PDA is out of the wanna-be's price range...but that doesn't mean that I can't drool over it does it?

Filed in: Tech Wishlist

RIP Weezer

On my way home from school last night, I was listening to one of the few local radio stations that I can actually stand listening to, when the DJ announced that the new song from Weezer was up after the break and it "rocked". I rarely listen to commercials, but for this I decided to wait them out. Why? Weezer is one of the few bands on the radio that has always had true originality, and I was eager to find out what they would sound like this year.

I should have changed the station. I would have been better off not knowing.
RIP Weezer
Cause of Death: Sampling

Just like bands that have crossed over before you, e.g. Sugar Ray, you are now completely and totally "mainstream". I can only hope that you sell many records as it would be a shame to sell your souls for anything less than mult-platinum. You will be missed.

Filed in: Music

More from the RIAA

They are at it again, more subpoenas have been sent. Are you on the list? Find out here:
EFF: RIAA Subpoena Database Query Tool

This previous website also has tips on how not to be caught by the RIAA and continue file sharing...but I have some issues with their methods. The website instructs you how to turn off the file sharing as it is only the people that are sharing these files that the RIAA is sueing. I've even heard it on the radio, that by turning off the sharing feature of file sharing clients, you will remain safe to download music or files and not get caught. Now, if everyone was to turn their sharing off, would anyone be able to download any files at all? Also, what is stopping the RIAA from targetting the downloaders next. If there's noone else sharing, they'll go after everyone who logs on and does a search to find files to download. Simply turning off sharing of your client is not a valid way to stay away from being sued. It completely undermines the purpose of file sharing anyway, doesn't it. The reason you can get any file you want is because someone, somewhere, is sharing that file. Feature turned off, no files.

What can you do?? Fight legally. Turn off your service for now and fight to make file sharing legal. Otherwise, you'll be next in line to be put on the list.

Filed in: InformationDesk

Yours for only $???.??

As I post this, the auction is not over...it will be over soon, but this was too nasty to wait til next week. This is definately the strangest auction I have ever laid my eyes on. This woman actually had a bra fall out of the ceiling of her 100 year old house. What would you do....sell it on Ebay, that's what anyone would do, right?

Weird Gross Bra That Fell Out Of My Ceiling

Filed in: UncommonlySenseless

Friday Linkage

I know that you are all agog with excitement over what is to be the second installment of clickable goodies distributed on Friday. I know that this weeks links will make you say "Where the hell does he find this stuff". So without futher ado let's begin:

Our first entries today come to you from the "I need a day job" Category:

How to Stop Alien Abductions & The Compendium of Lost Words

Next, from the "Okay, I still need a day job, but at least I'm doing something funny" category, I give you:

More from our favorite Japanese Game Show Contestants & This Gentleman whose body gets a little over-excited when preaching the good word.

Our next entrants come to you from the "Fun Flash Games for all" or as I like to refer to it the "I'm so bored I could fart" category:

Slackman, Operation Slaps & Dodgeball

Speaking of gas....here's a link, sure to keep you occupied for hours if not days at a time:

Mister Nice Hands

Finally, with the recent ground shaking going on in the East Bay area, I will leave you with a little linky that's not only entertaining, but informative as well:

Make-a-Quake

Hope you enjoy this weeks links. Remember, if you come across any on your own, let me know about them in the comments section, and I'll post them right here next Friday. Till then.

Filed in: Humor Video

Microsoft sending e-mails now?

Nope they're not, but a new virus going around would like you to believe that they are. The W32.Dumaru@mm has been hitting Marcy's inbox like crazy the last couple of days. Whatever you do, do not install the virus. This one does require the user to run the attachment for the virus to work, but the e-mail states that it is from security@microsoft.com and tells you to apply the patch immediately. If you are infected (if you have Marcy in your address book you may be), or have run the supposed "patch", you can download the removal tool.

Filed in: InformationDesk

Happy B-Day

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL!!!! Marcy took Michael down to Magic Mountain yesterday for his birthday. Being that I just started back to school and had a first night of class last night that I could not miss, I could not join them. At least Marcy had our camera in tow to catch some of the action as they rode rides and perambulated around the park.

Filed in: Family HomeMovie Travel

Day 11

Wow!! If you've ever quit smoking, than you probably know what it is to truely cough, and to truely sneeze. I have never cough or sneezed so deeply in my life as I have been in the last week, now that my body is expelling 13 years worth of smoke and tar from my lungs and sinus linings. I don't mean to sound gross, but let me tell ya...it's good stuff.

Filed in: QuitJournal

Back to Life, Back to Reality

After a nice long weekend, it's hard enough to go back to work, but having to go back to school on the same day as you go back to work is doubly (is that a word?) tough. At least I can say that we had a full weekend. Sunday Marcy & I took the kids out geocaching up towards the Shenendoah Wine Country and fun was had by the whole family to be sure. Check out the pics of our day.

Monday we had a BBQ in the backyard and celebrated Michael's b-day a little early. He will turn 12 tomorrow, if you can believe that. Sometimes, I can't...other times, it seems like he's already turning 16. I might post some pics from the BBQ if I get around to it.

Tuesday was back to work and back to school. Should be a busy semester, I ended up having to throw in a third class (to be completed on-line) so that I would have the necessary credit hours for the VA to reimburse me. Sound like fun? Well, I can tell already, it's not going to be...helluva time for us to quit smoking eh? Actually...I can't think of a better time, except maybe two years ago. Anyway, at least we're doing it.

Stats:
Time Smoke-Free: 9 days, 21 hours, 34 minutes and 34 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 89

Lifetime Saved: 16 hours
Money Saved: $15.07

Filed in: Family Travel Pictures QuitJournal

Masachistic tendencies

originally scribbled on my PDA 08/30/03

Gluttons for punishment that we are, Marcy and I went out last night for a little karaoke fun. Given the company that we were with, and their propensity to smoke, I thought for sure I would be starting over at day 1 again in our quest for a cigarette free life style. As it turns out, both of us want this badly enough and as I'm happy to report, we are now on day 6 (now 7).

Updated stats:
Time Smoke-Free: 7 days, 3 hours, 43 minutes and 57 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 64
Lifetime Saved: 11 hours

Money Saved: $10.55

Filed in: QuitJournal

Who's the Real Cheat

Two lawyers, Jon and David, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers David a $50 bet. David agrees and they're off. They do a great game. After the 8th hole, David is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.

"Help me find my ball. Look over there,'" he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither have any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, David secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he announces.

"After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?"

"What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!"

"And you're a liar, too!" Jon says. "I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!"

Filed in: Joke Humor Forwarded

Day 5 - Friday Linkage

Day 5, still we have not had a cigarette. If we get through the weekend, we will be done with what the Q calls "hell-week". It hasn't been all that bad either. I think with the right state-of-mind, actually wanting to quit because we're sick of how smoking makes us feel, and what it does to our pocketbook, only makes things easier. Still, with the long weekend ahead, I think we will need to keep ourselves mighty busy, that shouldn't be hard to do.

It's Friday, and I've decided that from now on, instead of bombarding you all week long with interesting links from around the www, I'm going to save them all week and bombard you on Friday, in one shot. Since I've only decided to start this today, I only have a few links for ya, but I hope you enjoy.

First, I have one link that goes into my "funny as hell" category: (via Metafilter)

Flash Animations for your viewing enjoyment

Next, in my "These-guys have way too much time on their hands" category, I bring you: (via Metafilter)

Burgers Having Sex & AT-ST Love

Finally, in my "This guy is too stupid to breathe" category: (via Metafilter)

This moron gets what he deserves

Yes, if life was the internet, and oxygen was bandwith, that guy does not deserve to share mine. That's all for today, more links will come your way next week. And if you find a strange or funny little morsel of www goodness, leave me a comment or send me an email and I'll feature it here next week.

_______
Stats:
Time Smoke-Free: 4 days, 13 hours, 43 minutes and 52 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 41
Lifetime Saved: 7 hours
Money Saved: $7.54

Filed in: Blog Humor QuitJournal

Day 4 - Sorry, I Didn't Mean To

Ever since we quit smoking, it feels like my lungs are trying to purge themselves of all the smoke that I have injested into them over the years. I didn't mean to release it all at once though, sorry. Seriously though, I wish I could sometimes, release it all at once. Instead of hacking day after day, take one big giant breath, and hack up all the tar and smoke that my lungs have had to intake because of my habit. Not a pretty picture eh? I imagine though that the picture looks clear compared to what the inside of my lungs looked like. Yeah, I think I'm definately ready to live the rest of our lives without smoking. Yesterday I went until noon without taking my first hit off of the inhaler, let's see how long I can go today, shall we?

I talked to Marcy's brother Bobby last night after putting up his, er Ahnold's, video:
Bobby: I told Marcy that that video better not end up on your site.

Me:Cmon Bobby, you know me better than that. It had to.
Bobby: I know

In a bit of good news, Marcy's Dad came through just fine, in fact, there were no blockages in any of his arteries or valves. Definately good news.

Stats:
Time Smoke-Free: 3 days, 11 hours, 3 minutes and 7 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 28

Lifetime Saved: 5 hours
Money Saved: $5.60

Filed in: Family HomeMovie QuitJournal

Total Recall 2003

Guessed who stopped by for an impromptu visit... You got it, Ahnold...and he went over some of the platforms that he will be running on. Luckily, Marcy was there with the camera to catch this most unexpected visit. He also told me off camera that you must go buy a shirt or else his next stop may be your house.

Stats:
Time Smoke-Free: 3 days, 1 hour, 22 minutes and 10 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 24
Lifetime Saved: 4 hours
Money Saved: $4.20

Filed in: Family HomeMovie Humor

Quitters

If you haven't noticed already, Marcy and I are quitting smoking. I have found a couple of websites for some support, but Quit Net is by far the coolest. If your in the same boat we are, or are thinking about jumping ship, Check it out.

My Stats:
Time Smoke-Free: 2 days, 21 hours, 4 minutes and 32 seconds

Cigarettes NOT smoked: 23
Lifetime Saved: 4 hours
Money Saved: $4.20

Filed in: QuitJournal

Day 3 - He's A Little Bit Special

Well, day 3 of our smoke-free life has started and I have Stephen Lynch's "Special Fred" stuck in my head. Thanks to Marcy's brother Bobby singing it that is. A couple of month's ago Bobby called me up late one night and told me to turn on Comedy Central. The comedian that he had been telling me about for a month or more was on. I did, and ever since I have been hooked on his songs. Check out his website for more information, you'll be glad you did.

Last night we finally set Marcy up to start selling on Ebay and submitted her first two auctions. She sews handmade quilts and tote bags, so if you are looking for something like that, check out her auctions. We will be setting up a website for her soon as well, I will post where you can find it when it is complete.

On a more serious note, Marcy's dad is going in for surgery today, we saw him off to the hospital this morning. The doctors will be doing mostly exploratory work on his heart valves and arteries, but they have indicated that angioplasty will most likely be necessary while they are in there. Some repair to the main heart valve may also be necessary today. He is in our thoughts today, please keep him in yours.

Filed in: Humor Family

A little bit of Hilarity

I've only watched the first two episodes so far, will continue during tomorrow's lunch, but from what I've seen so far this is hilarious. Red vs Blue

Filed in: Humor Video

Mum's the Word

Ok, my Sitemeter tells me that I have readers, but noone comments on the posts, that is except for this guy. Not complaining, just commenting on an observation, that's all. No pun intended of course.

Filed in: Blog