Saturday, August 02, 2003

Things my mother never told me...

I thought that since we're at home visiting my parents, this was a relevent entry:

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.

If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?

No guts, no glory, no brain, same story.

Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said "Quit while you're ahead"?

If you don't die from it -- it is healthy.

If everything is going well, you don't know what the hell is Going on.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Duct tape is like the force -- there is a light and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

There are three kinds of people -- those who can count and those who can't.

It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is how he found out.

Since blue and white are the international sign for handicapped, what does that say about the Iowa license plates?

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