Until I have my morning coffee, I am incapable of intelligent thought. People claim this all the time, but I am not making some empty claim. I really am not capable of anything even remotely intelligent until I induce my bloodstream with my caffeine habit. The most recent example of my morning stupidity has a few ingredients. theDog, our security alarm, theFamily, and a few signs posted on the doors, but notthing seemed to break through my sleep-induced haze.
The first time theDog normally wakes up is very early as he is still too young to hold it all night long. So normally, I stumble out of bed, let theDog out of his area, head downstairs and let him out the back door to do his business. The other night, as I forgot during my stumbling, I set the alarm that we have not been setting because of theDog going out multiple times throughout the night. Now that he has reduced that to only once before I am ready to wakeup, we went back to setting the alarm. I remembered as I opened the back door and my brain was jolted awake by the loudest alarm my ears have ever heard.
The next day, theFamily had their fun with it. As we were going to bed they decided to post reminders to me about the alarm, so I would not repeat the events of that morning, which I admit almost gave me a heart attack. So while they were having their fun, they were also trying to help me with these:
Unfortunately, two mornings later, with my head in a thick fog and my eyes closed up pretty tight, I opened the door. Once again I remembered the alarm was set only after my ears were assaulted by this alarm of ours. I need a caffeine solution that will allow me to ingest my fix before my feet hit the floor, no matter what time it is.
Filed in: UncommonlySenseless